I mean really~ Pick one!
Go celebate and channel that energy through Kundalini yoga or try to wrap your head around what Napolean Hill wrote about the Mystery of Sex Transmutation in Chapter 10 of Think and Grow Rich:
Regarding the emotion of sex and it’s constructive potentialities:
1) The perpetuation of the human race
2) the maintenance of sound physical and emotional health
3) the transformation of mediocrity into genius through transmutation
Now I’m a bit past my time for the perpetuation of the human race. My brother and his wife had triplets last year so with 6 kids I’m leaving that task to him!
So that leaves us with the last 2 options…As Tony Judt pointed out in a recent interview, when you have ALS you have your mind, your ability to defecate and your sexual urges intact as you experience the gradual diminishing capacities of your muscles and nerves. Or as he so aptly said ” Having ALS is like living in a cell that’s getting smaller all the time…you know it’s going to crush you, you just don’t know when.” But enough of the Doom and Gloom!
Let’s talk about sex. When I began this blog I promised my self I’d be completely authentic regarding my concerns, emotions and the experience of living with ALS. Sex has proven to be an interesting challenge. 1st of all I’m single. I haven’t quite wrapped my head around what it would look like to date. How does one approach that exactly – There’s the barrier of speech for me and then there’s the lack of certainty regarding any future what so ever. Although that could make me an ideal date for some men! I may feel like I’m going to live 10+ years at the very least and I have a committment to heal myself if at all possible ~ and I believe it is, regardless of the prevailing conventional wisdom. It doesn’t quite seem fair to get into a relationship with someone when you have an expiration date looming, regardless of how empowered I am about it!
I have gone through the recycling of former lovers and boyfriends, which is somewhat more comfortable because they knew me when I was fully able. I don’t have to explain who I am, what I’m committed to or what I like. They already know. The problem is my favorite option is long distance and travel is an increasing challenge for me. I haven’t seen him since January 2009 and that’s a long time to be celebate! Proximity would be nice, and is a prerequisite for “the maintenance of sound physical and emotional health”.
Practicing tramsmutation is an option but frankly it’s a bit boring and I have to say I have been so prolific and have so many ideas already that will go undeveloped even if I live til 100, that at some point you gotta say enough of the genius already for crying out loud! It’s cute and useful but it’s not like getting laid. I do have a promise to myself to live FULLY. So I have to recommend the choice, of celibacy as a way of life or a spiritual committment ( inside or outside of a nunnery) OR my personal favorite~ Get thee to a sex shoppe! I was fortunate enough to have a girlfriend who had a “passion party” in her home just as I was loosing the ability to pleasure myself with my hands. If this is TMI for you~you should have stopped at the title! It was the perfect opportunity to drink some wine and have the chance to look through a sampling of toys and instruments of pleasure with out standing in a sex shop and asking for a battery so you can feel what it does!
I think the ladies have the upper hand in this area guys, but then again I have never shopped for sex toys for men so I may have no idea what I’m talking about! At any rate, I share this because it’s a good conversation to have with a loved one dealing with ALS. New tools and techniques may be required between couples for mutual satisfaction. Be adventurous- don’t let the lack of capacity take this pleasure of life away from you! Seriously -It’s a miracle what remote control technology can do for you these days… Game on! As for me I’m going to work on my reticence about dating, it would take a very special guy to be with me but that’s nothing new really… it always did.