I was watching the Wimbelton finals this weekend and reflecting on Mental Stregnth and maintaining an empowering mindset in the face of whatever challenges we face as human beings. Mostly I was watching to get myself inspired, and I also knew if I paid attention I’d have an insight or 2 to share with you all and with my clients. The truth is I needed it. I spent the holiday on my own for 2 reasons: 1- I needed an attitude adjustment and 2- I wanted a large hunk of uninterrupted time to write and rest.
As things get more difficult for me to do, I’ve gotten a bit down on the whole deal. I noticed that I’ve spent a large amount of time being in the present and I haven’t planned for the next phase in my physical support systems. Me, the queen of planning, is crystal clear her plan is insufficient! On one hand I havenot wanted to dwell in the decline of my physical capacities…preferring to live in the mindset of healing and recovery which is all well and good however it doesn’t always mesh with reality. The impact of percieving a few new weaknesses has been a palpable apathy. Over the last 2 weeks there is a notable change in my typing for the worse, same can be said for my balance, the entry way for my peg tube is irritated and sore again and my thumbs are now completely useless. I need to do some more research but I’d be willing to bet there is a cognitive symptom of resistence or lack of willingness to keep up healthy practices. Suddenly it’s as if I have to fight myself to take the supplements I have been advised to take and agreed to ingest as a regimen. This is unlike me. It’s as if resignation snuck up and bit me!
Usually, I can turn myself around on a dime, however I have noticed it takes more to bounce back after a failure or loss if I am depleted in any way. Fatigue is the enemy. I may need to go back to my 2 days in one schedule…up at 7 ish write in the morning, have a call/chat or 2, nap around 11:30-12:30 til 2-3 then have another day of it til about 10 or 11pm. In any case it also takes longer to get back to an empowered mindset after several losses in a short time span and I can see where it could only take 20 minutes to turn my head around at times it takes 2 hours 2 days or a week, depending on my present condition at the time of a percieved failure or loss. The failure itself is never the problem, it just is. How fast I bounce back is always the issue. I have my standard and reliable texts and books as well as restorative rituals and habits…It concerns me that I seem to be developing a tolerance for being at the effect of my condition. It doesnt happen for long but it does happen.
Thus the morning appointments with Wimbelton this weekend which lead to the following insights:
Nadal and Serena won their respective championship matches displaying a mastery that comes from having been there before. It was a huge advantage to have had the experience of playing in championship matches, which neither of their opponents had, which led to some rookie mistakes. Serena and Nadal were also conditioned to play through out a whole tournament. They knew how to manage their bodies and their minds from round 1 to the end. Finding as John Macinroe put it “another gear”. I can totally see where I need to find another gear in this challenge I have with ALS. I got a sense of what that gear could be from stories about another ALS patient Augie Nieto that were relayed to me on Wednesday evening at an event at Fitness Formula on North Ave. Several of the executives from Life Fitness and Fitness Formula who knew Augie were at the event, they each told stories of how quickly Augie was returning emails and how he was typing with his toes! ( I have a flexible touch pad on order to practice with already!)
The main concern for myself is losing the ability to communicate, that would be the end all for me. In fact, I saw a show on suicide tourism on PBS not long ago and I was flabergasted by the ALS patient who ended his life because he could speak perfectly! He obviously had his reasons but DAMN, What the HELL? BLECH. At any rate, Not being able to communicate would suck and that is what I think keeps me working and typing as fast as I can…to get out what is coming through me in such a way that it can make a difference. It’s more than a job it’s a vision really. So I’m off my lethargic apathy trip for now and back to blogging thanks to a few champions,catching up on my rest and well placed shares from giving people. Thanks Ya’ll !
I’ll post my other insights from the Wimbelton notes in my business blog for CheekyChicago.com and repost them here as well.