So the only thing I’m clear about regarding my health right now is that I am conflicted. I’m concerned, conflicted and resigned. I’m resigned about the disease model and the lack of resources and my ability to raise funds fast enough for research to make a difference for me. I’m resigned about the quality of care I’ve experienced in the last year, and I find the thought of slowly shrinking into myself overwhelming so I look to my work as a focus and purpose to cling to. However when you have a bump in the road there- in the progress of your work, as I am dealing with right now, it makes it a bit of a slippery slide that you are clingling to… ya feeling me?

The one thing I know is that you can’t heal if your practices are half assed. You also can’t heal if the conversations that surround you are telling you it won’t happen or is not possible. I am tired of being told it’s inevitable. I am exhausted by looking at an inexorable decline. I feel intuitively there is an answer and it’s not being tended to. There is something connected to emotion and how we express, repress or process emotion. There has to be a connection with the observation that many physicians have had that ALS happens to “nice ” people. Maybe being overly “nice” is hazardous to your health? I dunno.

I do know that my faith in any activity regarding healing goes in and out like a bad radio frequency. Even when I have results, at times I forget to do what I know to do. I find vacations and time off or away from home particularly dissruptive to my practices. Funny that my clients experience the same thing with their plan and practices espeially around vacations and business trips. So we teach what we most need to learn…as I would tell them~

Set yourself up to win around your travel: Pack a bag with your supplements, grab some raw bars or protien bars so you always have appropriate nourishment available, Put a checklist on your desk for the day you return with your practices listed so you jump right back into them with out delay upon your return…When ever my clients bump into doubt or a disempowering mental space the 1st thing I ask them is “Have you reviewed your plan daily?” invariably the answer is no/ not all of it. Sometimes they discontinue reviewing the very elements of their plan that exist to keep their mental edge:
Empowering Conversations and Unbelievable Results. Empowering conversations are conversations you have with yourself to keep you engaged in your life, goals and plans and Unbelievable results are a method of keeping the vision you have for your future alive and present as you review your plan. I use both of these distinctions in my Master Plan program. Grounded in positive psychology, the Master Plan is an executive coaching and wellness program that trains people to create sustainable higher levels of productivity and wellness.

There REALLY are NO accidents. I created the program for myself, and happily it has great results for others! If I didn’t have a plan, that engaged me in my life and my work I’d be a hot mess. AND even with a plan you will experience a range of levels of engagement! The discilpline is to keep oneself engaged, interested and enlivened. Which brings me back to telling one on myself…when I’m fully engaged I can see the day I am healed. When I’m half assed I cannot. It behooves me to stay engaged in my practices and elevate them as I go along lest I become bored! Fortunately I have found a few footsteps to follow in, but I’ll write more about them another time. For now I’m thrilled to be back on my daily supplements, to the chiropractor and adding what physical activity I can, even if it means a big nap afterwards. I just don’t get to make the nap wrong…it’s not bad that I needed a nap, it’s just how it is.

Byron Katie has a great book called “Loving What Is”; in it she suggests, ” The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want.” I’m aligned. I am creating the nap after the walk as the rest required for healing.