It takes something for me to communicate, it takes more than it used too. More energy more focus more thought before hand etc
It’s as if every conversation needs to be premeditated in order to be effective. This takes time. This takes work.
In my recent study of your Brain at Work, by David Rock, he makes several great points about the amount of energy it takes to hold an idea top of mind…said another way it takes energy to hold a concept in mind while you converse and create around it. Given the pace of my communication is slower than verbal/audible folks, I find myself, spending 1/4 of the time bringing them back to the subject at hand. As I write or type a response they will get verbal about what ever they are thinking, sometimes its on point and sometimes it’s not; either way I find I must either let it go to stay on point myself or try to juggle 2-3 points in mind during any given conversation. No wonder I’m tired after 2 or 3 meetings a day! That really does take all the peak brain capacity that I have during a given day.
While I miss the free flowing ease of conversations from my verbal/audible past, I am grateful to be communicating at all. If I couldn’t communicate I’d slit my wrists and lie in the bathtub! That would be the end game for me. I’ve never been a fan of suicide having considered it a chicken shit thing to do-but I can now say I understand it. So as I focus on what there is to be grateful for, I am thrilled that I have found away to be heard via the speechless speech and I’m also immensely grateful to be able to type! I am eyeing the future toe typing pads with a developing hunger…
Back to the present~ It takes discipline and preparation now to have a conversation and have it go my way. I dont have the ability to interject and interrupt a downward spiral when I hear one. I’m not facile or limber in the conversational timing realm it’s why I rarely tell jokes anymore, it’s a timing thing. It takes something from others as well, it takes patience. The patience to slow their roll form a moment while I get my response in order…patience for them to stem the tide of bubbling thoughts in their brain that threaten to override the thought before and make it obsolete before I can effectively respond to the 1st thought. It is work. But is it too much to ask?
Perhaps the bigger question is is it worth it? It is to me or I wouldn’t be in a room or on a keyboard communicating with you…But is it worth it to you? Can you find the worth in slowing the pace and taking the energy to hold the thought while it’s carefully discussed? Or is that too much to ask? My conversations are carefully considered. Will you take the time to hear them? Can you sustain a debate? I don’t know…only you can answer.