Posts Tagged ‘Communication’

#1 Get people on your program

Monday, October 18th, 2010 by annemarie

1st things first: Get people on your program…this means organize your caretaking team, fully communicating what you want and need, posting your mission and creating a charter of care AND making a binder of notes, recipies, preferences etc… Such that anyone can pick it up and contribute in the ways that make the biggest difference for you.

I guess I’ve always been a bit of a lone wolf…so it’s been a process to train people on my care team to know what I’m wanting, needing and looking for with a mimimal amount of frustration. IE: fresh raw veggie juice doesnot equal V-8! And avoiding dairy does infact include sour cream… I’m finding it useful to post guidelines and outline standards of how I want to handle things in and around the house for instance very helpful for everyone.

But let’s take a step beyond the basics~ there comes a time when you have to choose how your treatment will go and what elements it will include. There is an attitude and intention behind it all, something far beyond “make me comfortable” something that traffics in the realm of MAKE ME WELL. You have to create your purpose and get that purpose fully communicated into your family and friends, such that when you can no longer see it’s possible to heal they will hold the space for your full recovery while you self-correct. This is critical to enroll your environment to carrying the banner forward and pull your experience along with it if neccessary. Together you all create a healing ETHOS and ATMOSPHERE.

They must believe in the face of no agreement. If people are unwilling to keep the faith regardless of how you look, what you are saying, what it looks like right now YOU MUST allow them distance and get them out of you’re space. FAITH. KISS MY ASS IT’S GOING MY WAY unshakable, undauntable faith. Held close to the heart by a large group can and will cause miracles. It’s your way or the high way…period. Non-believers need not appear, apply nor approve. Fake it til you make it…you don’t have to know how just hold the space for the way to appear.

This is not easy. But it beats the heck out of being a space suck! Contribute Energy! Be clear that it takes something to hang with those of us that are intensly sculpting life out of every breath. This is the GAME of life folks…Let’s Play!

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The Speechless Speech at InRule

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010 by annemarie

This Friday I had the priviledge of presenting a Speechless Speech at a Client conference for InRule Technology,Inc. Paul Hessinger the CEO, had contacted me after the WGN spot aired this summer and set me up as a suprise for his employees and Client guests. The theme of the day was communication, so I dusted off the Speech on Powerful Speaking and Happiness and customized the acknowledgment exercise for his key client services staff. Early in the morning…as luck would have it- a rainy morning and even though I left myself plenty of time …the lack of cab service made me late…I HATE being late, in fact I make a big point of it in my speech ~ about how your credibility is damaged when you are late… Yeah well I was set back on my heels a bit by being late- not late for the speech mind you- just late as to when I had promised to be there 90 mins before. Blech.

However I felt on the inside it apparently had no impact on the presentation, as the feedback was great and again I am certain this format of a Speechless Speech touches something profound in people. They remember what I “said” their reaction is more than it would be if I clearly spoke the same words as I stood before them. I think it has something to do with ” well if she’s not complaining about THAT, then why am I complaining about THIS…” type of comparison. Whatever the hook is I’ll take it! Here’s some of the feedback:

I have to say I was moved by your message, you definitely got my attention. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m going to embrace your tips on not only communication, but on my goals and in what I want to help me further. The only problem for me is that I’m stubborn in my ways so I’ll have to review your advice repeatedly to ingrain it my spontaneous conduct.

Finally, I overheard from some clients that they were similarly affected by your presentation like I was. I’m sure that Friday’s meeting will change the habits and patterns of quite a few people. Thank you again for being a part of our meeting.
Sincerely,
Jeff Enzinger

Afterglow still abounds from your contribution -SO many people were touched, beyond words.
Paul R Hessinger
Chief Executive Officer
InRule Technology, Inc.

Anne Marie,-I very much appreciated your presentation today at InRule’s meeting. Congratulations; you have certainly found your voice. I was transfixed by your words. I wish you all the best. Know that you have touched my life and I am better for it. Thank you. Best regards
John R. Rymer | VP, Principal Analyst
Forrester Research, Inc.

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Patience, Glucose and Coffee talk

Friday, July 23rd, 2010 by annemarie

It takes something for me to communicate, it takes more than it used too. More energy more focus more thought before hand etc
It’s as if every conversation needs to be premeditated in order to be effective. This takes time. This takes work.

In my recent study of your Brain at Work, by David Rock, he makes several great points about the amount of energy it takes to hold an idea top of mind…said another way it takes energy to hold a concept in mind while you converse and create around it. Given the pace of my communication is slower than verbal/audible folks, I find myself, spending 1/4 of the time bringing them back to the subject at hand. As I write or type a response they will get verbal about what ever they are thinking, sometimes its on point and sometimes it’s not; either way I find I must either let it go to stay on point myself or try to juggle 2-3 points in mind during any given conversation. No wonder I’m tired after 2 or 3 meetings a day! That really does take all the peak brain capacity that I have during a given day.

While I miss the free flowing ease of conversations from my verbal/audible past, I am grateful to be communicating at all. If I couldn’t communicate I’d slit my wrists and lie in the bathtub! That would be the end game for me. I’ve never been a fan of suicide having considered it a chicken shit thing to do-but I can now say I understand it. So as I focus on what there is to be grateful for, I am thrilled that I have found away to be heard via the speechless speech and I’m also immensely grateful to be able to type! I am eyeing the future toe typing pads with a developing hunger…

Back to the present~ It takes discipline and preparation now to have a conversation and have it go my way. I dont have the ability to interject and interrupt a downward spiral when I hear one. I’m not facile or limber in the conversational timing realm it’s why I rarely tell jokes anymore, it’s a timing thing. It takes something from others as well, it takes patience. The patience to slow their roll form a moment while I get my response in order…patience for them to stem the tide of bubbling thoughts in their brain that threaten to override the thought before and make it obsolete before I can effectively respond to the 1st thought. It is work. But is it too much to ask?

Perhaps the bigger question is is it worth it? It is to me or I wouldn’t be in a room or on a keyboard communicating with you…But is it worth it to you? Can you find the worth in slowing the pace and taking the energy to hold the thought while it’s carefully discussed? Or is that too much to ask? My conversations are carefully considered. Will you take the time to hear them? Can you sustain a debate? I don’t know…only you can answer.

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Frankly My Dear…

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010 by annemarie

So If I EXPECT compassion from people does that mean I’m being ENTITLED?

I had a conversation with a colleague this week in which he made it clear that he was unwilling to communicate with me the way I currently communicate: which is with a marker and paper when live or via skype, email and text. He’s upset by how difficult it is to communicate with me and is also unwilling to take the time to meet with me in person. Huh. REALLY?

In that moment I experienced being discriminated against by someone who I know loves me and cares for me. While I agree that it’s time for an upgrade in technology to text to speech soft ware etc…that doesn’t fix his main objection of the slowness of the conversation. It’s as if he’s now decided he has no use for communication if I can’t talk in real time. Bear in mind 2 things: 1- he’s been around me quite a bit in the last 2 years so this isn’t a suprise that I’m now barely talking syllables and 2-most of the equipment available to me is too heavy for me to carry around. I found his unyeilding attitude shocking, hurtful and utterly lacking in compassion. If it’s difficult for YOU take a moment and IMAGINE how flipping hard it is for ME. That’s why they call it a DISABILITY. With out ability to perform at a normal level.

I’m sure I’ll get my compassion on for him and how hard it is for him to care for me and watch me diminish…but that might take me a minute.

So if I expect a little compassion from my associates, does it mean I’m entitled? Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

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