Leave it to a somellier to create a liquor analogy! It’s so accurate though! My existence is being distilled by my experience with ALS. There is lots of input, periods of silence and periods of noise and information and short concise communications coming out…
I first saw this phenomena while writing my Speechless Speeches. The way I was synsethizing a concept or packaging my point into an impactful image or phrase, but it first occurred with my language: there is less output as I lose energy. I am even leading a Master Class without talking! I pass out the outline and handouts and we all lead together. My client’s are amazing! They have all done programs before so they trust my work and the value it brings. I think they are all getting more value by having to take ownership of and deliver the classroom to each other. But I stray a bit.
The Master Plan is more of a practice than a destination. Like they say,”Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.”
It seems as though all of the extraneous is being cut away, and I am down to the basics of life…intake/”eat”…followed by output/ produce and waste. A complex machine performing a simple exchange. I am learning to create teams because I must. I have never felt that effective with small teams. Large ones no problem. Go figure. “MORE IS GREAT” used to be my motto…as I resisted the Meis van der Roe “Less is More” Philosophy, despite having attended IIT!
Tony Judt aptly wrote that having ALS was like living in an ever shrinking room…that you knew was going to crush you one day but you didn’t know when. I don’t have that experience as much as I percieve being distilled~ it’s the sudden lack of variety in my actions, from what I do to/where I go/ where I sit to how I sleep. I am present to how many times I go to the bathroom…I never noticed that before, is it more often with the tube feeding? Seems like it is but I’m not sure.
There is just so much I dont do anymore because it just takes too much…and I’m REALLY focused. I have a mission. It drives me and keeps my brain alert and cooking with gas. So all in all, Being distilled is a good thing. I am the essence of what is important to me.