So last week after getting home from the hospital, and dealing with being pissed off and trying to heal plus getting back in the swing of things re: my clients and meetings with my employees etc….IT ALL FELT A LIKE BIT TOO MUCH!
There I said it. whew. Part of me was just resigned – “really you had to screw up around me? really after all my good intentions and preperations and patience with rescheduling the procedure in the 1st place …really? you had to treat me like the asshole patient…the last thing I need right now is another project…and I’m in pain…I have a new speechless speech to write, blah blah blah… why did you have to be a turd on my watch??? Really? (I get it why people would just tolerate bad service and not communicate after out of sheer relief from being out of there!)
Then I did what I tell my clients to do in the Master Plan program and from time to time when they get uber busy and need all their faculties firing at 100%~ I went on a TV and News FAST. Since last thursday March 11th, I’ve not watched 1 thing: no news cast, no entertainment news no talkshows no late night no movies no media with the exception of what I catch from managing my facebook presence and the occasional email that includes articles. I did read Forbes~ which I’ll be blogging about later! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH what a relief and a pleasure it’s been: the absence of noise is a gift and a blessing.
Long ago I read a book by a native american professor from UC Berkley I believe, called 19 arguments for the Elimination of Television, and it shaped my use of TV. I moderate it just as one might moderate their sweettooth. I indulge during football season, and I limit it the rest of the year really. This allows me to be responsible for my mental space keeping it clear and focused: I am not unduly influenced by a proliferation of loud commercials for drugs I do not need, clothes I do not need, etc etc. Anything truly news worthy I will, hear about on Facebook or from a waitress in a restaurant. I am tired of news as entertainment or INFOtainment, which is really not News at all- it’s legitimized gossip. It’s harmful to people and useless, it’s derisive and distracting. BLECH. It’s like a diet of cheesepuffs alone~initially tasty but eventually insubstantial and destructive and constipating. Who needs mental constipation?
At any rate, I have been astoundingly prolific and freed up and happy as a result! Yes HAPPY, as I write and think and create and become more fully engaged in creating the life I want. Despite all the stuff: ALS, Recovering from surgery, CRAPPY service for the 1st 18hrs at the hospital, adjusting to the peg tube …which sucks by the way~ it smells, naturally like I suppose your tummy smells, it gets in the way of wearing a bra: and if you saw my lingerie collection you’d understand my upset here…and is a puss secreting extra belly button, that Goddamn well better extend my life by 10years for all this frackin MESS in my house! ERGH. Yep like I said I’m happy.
It’s amazing what a little clarity can provide even in the midst of several annoying circumstances. I may just leave my TV off for a month just to see how much I can get done! Today I feel especially well after giving myself permission to sleep as long as I wanted…12 hours it was…with only 1 bathroom break…delish! It’s my MANTRA~ Self-Care is the pathway to sustainable excellence.
I’m walking my talk, baby, just watch me kick some ass now. Time for a rawfood protien shake and coffee on the roof top. After all it’s 63 degrees and gorgeos here in Chicago right now!